What a Survivor Wants,
What a Survivor Needs
© 2001 by Marilyn D. Davis

Our island* life is quite a bore
we're sick of all this rice;
we never knew we'd have to starve
and live among the lice.

What we need now is something cool
to stimulate our day,
'cause bickering among ourselves
just doesn't seem to pay.

Please send us food and beer and books,
a Discman wouldn't hurt;
CDs and shades and--don't forget--
some soap to wash off dirt.

We'd also like a game show host
who doesn't pry or gloat,
or make us say things we'll regret
before we cast our vote.

A generator would be nice,
a dirtbike would be too;
we wouldn't mind a VCR,
a razor and shampoo.

We need some things to keep us from
destroying one another,
so send us tapes and we can watch
what happened on Big Brother!

* You can substitute "outback" or "desert" for the word "island,"
as appropriate.
More Humor Articles
About Surviving Survivor
(coming soon)

Survivor Merchandise--A Heads-up to
Collectors and Fans
A Greg Schizo doll, a Susan Truck Driver Action Figure... See what else will be for sale.

Don't Panic--Here's the Only Way to Cure
Your Survivor Habit
Give yourself a vacation at a Survivor resort: it's just what the doctor (Sean?) ordered.

SURVIVOR MXLVII: Contestant Finalists
Read a transcript of a conversation between two Survivor producers as they choose the last of the contestants. Get the inside story about what's really important as they create that perfect mix of competitors. And check out the new, improved logo!
© 2001 by Marilyn D. Davis. All rights reserved. Distributing or copying this material via e-mail, hyperlink, disk, print, or any other medium is prohibited under U.S. copyright law without written permission of the author.

Create your own website at!