...we never knew we'd have to starve

and live among the lice.

What a Survivor Wants,

What a Survivor Needs

(without apologies to Christina Aguilara)

by Marilyn D. Davis

 

 

Our island* life is quite a bore

we're sick of all this rice;

we never knew we'd have to starve

and live among the lice.

What we need now is something cool

to stimulate our day,

'cause bickering among ourselves

just doesn't seem to pay.

Please send us food and beer and books,

a Discman wouldn't hurt;

CDs and shades and--don't forget--

some soap to wash off dirt.

We'd also like a game show host

who doesn't pry or gloat,

or make us say things we'll regret

before we cast our vote.

A generator would be nice,

a dirtbike would be too;

we wouldn't mind a VCR,

a razor and shampoo.

We need some things to keep us from

destroying one another,

so send us tapes and we can watch

what happened on Big Brother!

* You can substitute "outback" or "desert" for the word "island," as appropriate.

© 2001 by Marilyn D. Davis; all rights reserved.

Marilyn D. Davis lives and works in the Chicago area. She often writes with her tongue firmly implanted in her cheek, so please don't attempt to converse with her while she's at the keyboard. She specializes in humor essays and short stories, several of which have been published in the Simon & Schuster series, "Chocolate for Women..." (available in most major bookstores and online). Her favorite topics include parenting, writing, and living in the quirky 21st century. Check out her Web sites: AllSheWrites.com and TechnoCursed.com.